Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
