u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
