You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
