you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
