You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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