he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
