Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
