He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You made out with two different species that night
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
