I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
