New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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