i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize