he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
