Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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