WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
