I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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