Don't you send me to vm
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
