Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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