so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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