Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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