Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
