Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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