im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
