k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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