his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
