He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
