Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My penis needs a shock collar
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
