just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
