May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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