Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My balls are so social today.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
