So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He shit in the fireplace
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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