am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You're like the curious george of whores
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize