Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
