i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
