I hope my margaritas pass through security.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
