Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
