how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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