She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
