I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize