you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
