would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
sick fucks of a feather flock together
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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