i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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