just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
