Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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