I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
