it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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