my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
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