every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
