tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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