just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
