SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize