She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize