I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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