Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
