since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
