So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
