i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
