Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
