I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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