think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
