We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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