I need help removing her.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
