Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize