Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
