well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize