Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
