I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
