I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
