i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
