Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize