areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
