coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Randomize
