Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
