Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's never too late to be topless.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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