If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize