Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
false alarm, still single
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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